I hate flying, always have.

In my professional life, I have been on maybe 300 flights around Australia.

The beauty of flights around the worlds largest continent that is in and of itself, a country; is that they don’t last all that long.

Still, they fucking terrify me.

I like the initial rush of the takeoff and love the landing, but everything in between sends me into a panic.

It shouldn’t. I wont go into the personal reasons for that here, but let it be said that I have faced things far more terrifying than something which has a 1 in 8,000,000 chance of getting one killed.

I haven’t ever flown out of Australia, but my job now requires me to.

It isn’t the thought of death that terrifies me about it though and I realised this after reading this beautifully poetic piece by Christopher Hitchens on the race in which he has become a finalist.

http://www.vanityfair.com/culture/features/2010/09/hitchens-201009

The article is poetry.

It is one of the most beautiful things that I have ever read and not for the content, but for the conviction, the strength and the sentiment behind the content.

I hope to have half the courage that Hitchens has displayed should I be given a clock with my time and date on it.

Whilst a man that a large percentage of the world will be watching with bated breath, hopping that he converts on his deathbed, maintains his integrity; I am twisted in knots about getting in an aeroplane to fly to Thailand.

My irrational fear of flying lead me to contemplate posting my wishes for my funeral here just in case my lawyer didn’t take me seriously. For a laugh, I will do so anyway, if only to admit to myself just how stupid I have been publicly.

• - My funeral will be held in a Catholic church, St Bernards Berowra -- though no priest shall be present.
• - My coffin shall be carried by seven leather clad midgets
• - There will be two very attractive people, one male, one female, in tailored, tight, red latex devil costumes who shall surreptitiously dart about the gathering whispering conspiratorially in peoples ears “you know where he is now, don’t you?”
• - People shall be wearing black, purple and red only -- preferably with white or mixed colour shoes
• - People shall not be “mourners” but “celebrators” and any tear shed shall be done so only because they didn’t get a chance to hit me for winding them up
• - No one shall wax lyrical about “what a wonderful person I was”, rather they shall detail my worst qualities and drone on and on about how much of a “cunt” I was
• - The music playing shall be Opeth, Nightwish, Nemesea, Tool, Assemblage 23 and other suitable dark stuff
• - I shall be cremated and, from my life insurance, an ounce of pure cocaine (or more, depending on my weight at death) shall be purchased and mixed with my ashes and snorted by all who wish to “do so in memory of me”
• - Everyone shall get written off and preferably naked with the midgets and then organise a bank heist with jetpack clad monkeys. When they are caught, they shall request clemency by virtue of “grief”
• - A monument shall be erected in my honour outside a church

That is about it…

Anyway, the other thing that gave me pause for thought was this song:

I know that it has nothing to do with fear of flying, but the bit about “I control you” caused me to confront my fear and decide that I wouldn’t let it control me anymore.

Why let fear control any aspect of you?

Those of us who are fortunate know the time of our meeting with oblivion, the rest of us are oblivious.

Why waste what time we have worrying about what may never be when death can come in an instant, without warning, rhyme nor reason.

Live for the now, live for yourself and those around you who you love. Make the most of every day and worry not about the time that will come for you when you meet oblivion.

There is no point in worrying about the things you haven’t done or wanted to do, when you are dead, you wont have any form of conscious thought.

Do those things today, live life without regret so that if you are fortunate enough to be given the time of your meeting with death, you will not fret, rather reflect on a life well lived.

Live for the now, but in doing so, don’t neglect your humanist urges -- this life you have is your only life, but it is also the only life that those around you will have.

We all fear death but it shouldn’t cloud our desire to live.

Thank you Christopher