Evolution is dynamic.

It could be argued that anything which is dynamic – be it organic or inorganic; could be subjected to a form of evolutionary process.

Traditionally accepted evolution does tend to favour a gradual shift which is generally considered beneficial in that it promotes the survival or adaptation of a species or organism to better perform in its environment.

Language and the use of language is something that changes as new mediums, in which it is used; appear.

I would stop short of calling changes in language “evolution” however as the alterations are often bastardisations.

I am going to discuss one of the most overused and bastardised terms that one encounters during ones online experience:

• LOL

Being a keen student of language and the nuances contained therein, the proliferation of the Internet has caused me a vast amount of pain.

I suppose that it isn’t the proliferation of the medium itself that has caused the pain, it is more likely that the greater exposure to literary laziness has been at the root of the pain that I have felt.

The proliferation of said medium has merely enabled exponential access to my synapses by anyone who is moderately capable of mashing their sweaty paws on a keyboard.

Being reasonably ancient, I have been exposed to the ‘net in various forms for nigh on a score of my life.

My first modem was about the same size (and weight) of the original PS3 and ran at a ridiculously low baud rate.

At any rate, I have been exposed to this medium for quite some time.

I remember, back in 1996, whilst using ICQ – which was a sensational program until AOL purchased it… as were Netscape and Winamp… (what is it with AOL ruining everything that they acquire?) – the first time that I was confounded by a spate of acronyms that had appeared on my screen.

LOL, ROFL, ROFLMAO…

When they were explained to me, I was a little disgruntled.

The things that I said may have been worthy of someone laughing out loud, but they certainly were not rolling around on the floor laughing (unless they had been indulging in a bit of the green) and I hope that they had not been deprived of their buttocks.

I found it somewhat lazy, but didn’t bother too much about it.

It isn’t all that difficult to type in “ha ha” or similar and really only a couple more keystrokes.

To me, it was like the person who signs off, in their corporate auto signature; with “rgds”.

That is the height of laziness. Ssomeone who couldn’t be bothered to type three extra characters into an auto signature should be summarily dismissed from both their job and the human race.

I digress however.

It hasn’t been until more recent years where the abuse of the language through the medium of “LOL” has reached such epic proportions.

It disgusts me that it has, for some people; become a form of punctuation.

Not only that, but these serial abusers of the language are generally too lazy to even bother capitalising it.

For example:

“got a chopa gnr on wasteland teh othr day lol”

- lol is not a period.

“was walking down the street the other day lol and saw this fag wearing scoops”

- lol is not a comma

The acronym itself is a bastardisation of the language, however the use in modern day for, texting, chat and the like is a bastardisation of a bastardisation.

It is a mutation upon a mutation.

To suggest an analogy: if the modern day use of the term were a foetus undergoing pre-natal testing, the obstetrician would counsel the couple to consider an abortion.

I used to fight against the spread of the term in its pure format – “LOL”, but that battle has clearly been lost; much to my chagrin.

It isn’t too late however to attempt to fight against the overuse and bastardisation of the term; for it is a slippery slope my friends.

If we aren’t vigilant, pretty soon we will end up with people using the term as a pause in spoken sentences instead of a breath.

Furthermore, there are additional bastardisations of the term:

“I lol’d” or “I lold”.

This translates as:

“I laugh out loud’d.”

Strictly speaking, the term really should be:

“I l’dol”.

It is akin to “shan’t”

Whilst that is a contraction of shall not and doesn’t really make sense when you look at it – it should be “sha’n't”, it would make much more sense to “l’dol” than to “lol’d”.

The bastardisation of the language that has been seen through the mutations of the original acronym of LOL has lead to an almost complete breakdown in the ability of some people to effectively communicate – and indeed, others to decipher their jibberish.

For example:

“lol teh othr day u wer pwnd when i pwnd ur ass 2 many timez”

That is painful to read.

Whilst I often do things “for teh lulz”, I have never “lol’d” (or indeed “l’dol”).

It isn’t the acronym itself that bothers me any more; it is the overuse, bastardisation and improper use of the acronym that has me somewhat confounded.

I fret for the future of this country, and indeed, the world at large when I see this kind of degeneration of the written word as surely it is but a microcosm of the greater ills of society at large.

Some would suggest that “LOL” has become a word in and of its own.

I would vigorously contest this suggestion.

The accepted arbiter of what can be described as a word in the proper sense of the term, I would suggest; is the Oxford English Dictionary.

This mighty tome of reference lists it as an acronym derived from email, internet or text chat.

In fact; most dictionaries seem to see it in that light.

I would suggest that LOL is no more a word than GNU, SOS, PC, PS, PS3, BP, BPM, STD, RSVP or any of the commonly used acronyms that have been used over the years – many for a period spanning many more score years than this blight on the language.

It could be argued that this is not the case with RSVP – as people often request someone to “RSVP” – though I believe that this could be seen as a correct usage despite the repetition of the “please” – “please répondez s’il vous plaît” = “please please reply” and could be seen as somewhat pleading or begging.

“LOLling” or having “LOL’d” is, I submit, akin to replying “I was PS3ing” or “I PS3′d on the weekend” when a caring friend requests that you share knowledge of your activities.

I don’t believe that I have validated the use of the acronym as an expression, merely accepted that the acronym, like the common cold; is here to stay.

The premise of my diatribe is that people have attempted to turn it into a verb and/or an adjective (and indeed a form of punctuation) – which in my opinion, it should never become – and in doing so, have done it incorrectly.

It is a blight on the language akin to “ur” and must be stopped!

Join with me my friends to fight this plague, this disease.

Buy a fucking badge today.